The Top 10 Great Unsolvable Mysteries
of Products

10 Why does my VCR remote control have an eject button?
Don't I have to get off my butt and go to the machine to get the tape anyway?

9 Why do irons have settings for permanent-press material? 

8 What's with these razors with four blades now?
Are we shaving our faces or are we grating cheese? We started off with single blades and that worked pretty well, but then we were told we really needed two blades per razor—some nonsense about one to lift and one to cut. We bought them and so then three-blade razors were introduced. Now four. Why?

7 Why does my new printer's manual,
which I found sealed in plastic and packed in styrofoam at the bottom of the box, include instructions for correctly opening the box?

6 How come new video movies come in boxes without bottoms?  
What kind of ridiculous design is that? My buddy David Bailey pointed this out and I suddenly realized why I'm always dropping videotapes—the bottoms of the cardboard boxes are missing! Not only that but the tops have conventional flap openings: do they think people are too stupid to pull the tapes out of the open ends? What other product has a box built to fit it but leaves the bottom off?

5 Why do toasters have settings that are so high they could only burn toast?
Does anyone use the highest setting on purpose? Does anyone like eating charcoal? So why make toasters that powerful?

4 Why does "lactose-free milk" always contain lactose?
Don't believe me? Look it up the ingredients next time you're in the grocery store.

3 Why are we charged extra for not having our phone numbers listed in directories? It's the only time I can think of when we have to pay not to advertise. To make it even more ridiculous, if we ask to have our cell-phone numbers printed in the phone book, then—guess what?—we have to pay more!

2 Why do clocks with Roman numerals use IIII for four?
If I remember my public school lessons, the number 4 is represented by IV in Roman numerals. Did the original clock designer figure Roman numerals are created by adding a stroke for each successive number? In that case, why didn't they go ahead with IIIII for five and on up to IIIIIIIIIIII for 12? Some folks say IIII is used because the subtraction rule (IV = V minus I) was not a Roman convention but was added later. In that case, why do clocks use IX (X minus I) for 9 instead of VIIII?

And the Number One great unsolvable mystery of products:

Exactly how big is a "scoop of raisins"?
As in "two scoops of raisins in every package of Kellogg's Raisin Bran"? I ask because I checked out a gigantic box of Raisin Bran at the store the other day and it too supposedly has "two scoops of raisins" — the same as my regular medium-size box. And the same as the tiniest box. It made me wonder if bigger scoops are used for bigger boxes. Or do the scoops stay the same, so you get fewer raisins per ounce of bran flakes as the boxes get bigger? What's the scoop, Kellogg's?